Presence
Paul Pitcher – Guatemala
The final chapter of my two years in Guatemala wrote itself. I called it my “farewell tour” to this stage in my life. There were dinners and celebrations with the office and out in the countryside, with friends in their homes.
Paul Pitcher – Guatemala
The final chapter of my two years in Guatemala wrote itself. I called it my “farewell tour” to this stage in my life. There were dinners and celebrations with the office and out in the countryside, with friends in their homes.
As the final week came to a close, my room became a barren wasteland, the walls stripped, my belongings packed up, amazing how I fit two years into a trunk and hiking pack along with about 6 large garbage bags. I sat in my black leather chair and stared around at the emptiness.
My two years in Guatemala seem like they have flown by. But as I sit here in Chicago my imagination has changed them all into one long huge dream, a passing breeze that tilts the head up, my eyes scanning my brain while my nostrils search for a familiar scent in the air. Yet I have so many stories that spring to my tongue without warning, every moment that they can like they have a mind of their own.
It was the last morning at my house in Santa Cruz del Quiché…My good friends Mateo and Albiana along with their two daughters, 11 year old Lupita and 10 month old Beatriz came calling at my door to pick up a crate of things I had for them. Mateo is one of the most eloquent speakers I have ever heard in any language especially considering he learned Spanish when he was 14 years old. His words are usually clear and concise while his vision focuses on his subject. But this morning, as I sat on the third step of the stairs in the back patio and Mateo stood off to my right, he focused on a spot on the floor and his sentences had more pauses and fumbling words than I have ever heard from him. He shifted back and forth on his feet as he spoke, words of thankfulness and hopeful wishes for my return someday soon…
When it was Albiana´s turn; she took Beatriz off her back and handed her to Lupita. At this point I had stood up, Albiana staring up at me from her height of roughly 4 foot 11 inches. Her words were even less clear than her husbands as she fought through the tears, but one word came through powerfully, presence, “Pablo, you have always been present for us.” From sharing dinners, to traveling with Mateo out to their home village of La Laguna, to Lupita’s first communion to Beatriz’s baptism, I was there with the family.
When I came down to Guatemala, the organization that I work for in the States talked of the importance of “critical presence”. My definition of these words in Guatemala, with my family and in my home has come to be that “presence”, just being there for the sometimes important and sometimes relaxed pieces of life, is worth its weight in gold. I have spent two years being present, of walking with my friends, family, and others in the hills of Guatemala.
My mind wrote its own movie script as I sat aboard the plane, taking off from the runway in Guatemala City. Scene: a Boeing 727 American airlines plane, 3 seats on one side, 3 on the other sitting on the runway. The camera swings around from a full frontal view of the airplane to one of the lonely windows in the middle of the plane, zooming in. You see my forehead, pasted to the window, my tear touched eyes scanning back and forth across the landscape as the plane picks up speed. The wheels lift off the ground, the jam packed buildings as close as crystal formations becoming smaller and smaller. My words, “nos vemos muy pronto Guatemala, (we will see each other again soon Guatemala)” drift down off my whispering lips…the low lying clouds slowly infiltrate my view, blocking my sight from the country that has been my world, my life for two years, where I have been present.
I thought about the trip back, how in a few hours I would land on American soil, not just for a quick two week visit this time, but for at least a 3 month stint where I would reconnect with family and friends as well as travel the country to speak about the dream that, right now, is Guatemala. I also will reconnect with an old friend…Paul…I have been Pablo for 2 years now and I know that I will still maintain pieces of that persona but life is a bit different in these parts. I will have to find a way for the two halves to co-exist and draw the positive elements out of each into a comfortable mix. My writings, my adventure in Guatemala have come full circle. I left with cold feet, scared of a foreign land and unknown adventures. I fell into a comfort zone, a familiar and wonderful while also trying and difficult life in the mountains of what once was an unfamiliar country. I returned to a different world with cold feet again, apprehensive of the unknown in the USA. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, it’s a mystery, it’s a new adventure, its a ball of risks but I know that I am ready, to be present here now and to share my experiences and adventures. The words for my last two years come to an end, but I am sure that somewhere soon they will start again and that a story will always be present.
Pablo
Paul Pitcher is a missionary with the Christian Action of Guatemala (ACG). He serves as a communication and youth worker with ACG.